Today started off with a seminar on juxtaposition, seeing how text, lines of poetry, or images can be arranged alongside each other to get a certain reaction or mood (at least that’s what I think the definition is). It was a very good seminar, and while I don’t feel like I jumped in enough it was great to listen to the conversation that sprang up.
In the afternoon was large groups, and I was up. Everyone had plenty of comments to give, including some good ones, thank god. My large group is excellent, and I got a wide range of advice spanning all kinds of topics, from my POV to characterization to the age of a character. I’m excited to get to work on this now, but I don’t even know where to begin with it. I guess that’s why it’s good to let everything sit for a few days.
Today began my regular overwhelming nervousness, and I don’t even think it comes directly from getting workshopped. No, instead I think it’s the result of my regular shyness and hyper-awareness of how awkward I am. I want to talk to so many people, to experience as much as I can, but I get shy about it. When I’m shy, I know that I will be awkward and either bumble through a conversation or have nothing to say and stand in silence. And knowing that, I become even more shy, and more awkward… it’s horrible. Too many new people at once, and too many people that I just look up to and feel like I’m bothering. I really need to get over myself.